It takes courage to do something new, meet new people and put yourself out of your comfort zone. Sometimes we have to do this out of choice, other times the decision is made for you.

We all have the fight, flight or freeze response which is triggered by the amygdala when the brain thinks we are in danger. The amygdala is the part of the brain responsible for the reaction with fear, anger, anxiety, and aggression being common triggers. In evolutionary terms, it is the oldest part of the brain. So with that in mind, it really isn’t surprising that the brain hasn’t really worked out that entering a new environment such as a yoga class isn’t really as threatening as there being a lion about to attack.

I don’t particularly like being the new person – does anyone??? You have to talk to people in order to even get to the stage of making new friends and small talk is painful. So with Eleanor going to a new school in a new country and in a new culture it was never going to be easy, and it wasn’t. It got easier but being the new girl who looked like everyone else, but really wasn’t was not fun. But there was netball at school and from an after school club she got to train with Larne Ladies netball team for 2 hours every Wednesday night. She and I both played netball with the staff at the last school, but I was told that netball was for her, and that I would need to find my own tribe. So I did…

I went to yoga, I joined a book club, I went to Zumba and I went horse riding. I have never done Yoga … to be honest I wanted to feel my heart racing and work up a sweat, and I assumed that yoga wouldn’t do that for me. But having done my back in, in November, I knew that I needed to strengthen it and that yoga and pilates would be good. Pilates I have done a few times, once because the only way to get a meeting with the Deputy Business Administrator at school was to go to the summer class, but that was not in any way what I thought Pilates was and I never went back. The name of Pilates conjured up gentleness – well my experience was anything but!

So, I decided to give yoga a go at the Parochial Hall in Whitehead on a Monday at 9:30am. Yoga was great given that during the class no one talked to each other, each of us focused on our warrior poses or other some such poses that it was affirmed that I really am not flexible – fit yes – flexible no. I didn’t like the waiting for the beginning of the class, so I arrived as late as I could to get my yoga mat and for the class to begin. I didn’t need to interact with anyone, it was my time and my brain didn’t think about anything at all. It was great – and – I will continue it back in China.

From considered poses and quiet time I then went to Zumba on a tuesday night at The Gobbins centre in Islandmagee. Gary our teacher was fun, energetic and with disco lights instead of a main overhead light, we could do as much or as little as we wanted without being in the glare of everyone else.

It is daunting going somewhere new for the first few times, and while I didn’t say two words to anyone at Zumba, I never felt judged for how I did or didn’t keep up with the moves. Everyone was in their individual zone. Zumba ended for me, when Eleanor did an eight week Give It A Try with Larne Rugby Club… although after a tackle where she hit the ground with her head, she was out of the programme due to being on a concussion register.

I also decided that I would start running again. Whitehead though, is on a hill. So I kept my running to the prom. Pretty much I ran 3 times a week, but I haven’t run regularly since doing a 5km run between my parents home and Downshire on St Patrick’s Day and in April a 5km run round Central Park in New York City.

Instead I have chosen to walk Whitehead prom every school day. It has been the most glorious time along the seafront and it really has been a calming influence on me where I am alone with my thoughts or listening to a range of podcasts from Journey to the Magic with Giovanna Fletcher and guests talking about the most magical place on earth (Disney of course) to Something Rhymes with Purple with Giles Brandreth and Susie Dent which talks about the history/origin of words on topics and the most recent podcast I have listened to, is Kathy Burke and guests talking irrevently about their perfect death in Where There’s a Will There’s a Wake. Laughing out loud while walking down the prom at 8:45am is good for the soul as well as drinking in this view.

The last two activities that have kept me physically fit are horse riding and tennis. My two loves. I have joined Whitehead Tennis Club, at the cost of 80GBP for the year I am playing with the club twice a week 6:30pm to 10pm, making the most of the light evenings and my membership fee. I have made some people feel old as some of them played with dad and when they realise I am his daughter … someone commented that when dad played it was a different era!

My love for riding hasn’t ceased. Bravery is certainly needed every time I get in the saddle. I have realised never to become complacent as that is when accidents happen. I haven’t been riding for a lot of June, mostly because I haven’t been in the country, but also when my parents went on holiday and the closer I got to going back to China, I realised that if I injured something there were few people to call on. I understood my vulnerability.

Finally, it wasn’t all sport. On a Friday afternoon in February I joined a brand new book club that a lady had set up in Whitehead Community Centre. Ilona isn’t a native Whiteheader/Whiteheadian nor indeed is she originally from Northern Ireland but she wanted to do something for her and the community, so with in trepidation I joined the book club. Having never been to a book club before I really didn’t know what to expect but introductions happened and we have met most Fridays. I was sad to say goodbye in June, but I have now read a lot more Northern Irish centred fiction than I might have done, and have had my mind opened to fiction I might not have picked up eg American Dirt by Jeanine Cummins and Trespasses by Louise Kennedy.

Today Eleanor did a Netball NI afternoon, going in to Belfast High School she knew nobody, she greeted me afterwards saying “compliments, compliments, compliments”. She had started to talk to people by complimenting them on something or other – it works for her, though I am not sure it would work for me!

I have been brave in taking the leap of removing us from our schools while Martin remained. A gamble, but, fortune favours the brave and we most certainly have been brave. We have enjoyed months of doing things new to us, but also developing skills that we already had, our comfort zones have been extended and we continue to grow and develop.